After serving on church boards for fifteen years, I've learned a few things:
- Flat roofs always leek—but never over the baptistery.
- Don't plan a "Seal the Parking Lot" workday on Saturday—unless you want a "Clean the Carpet" day on Monday.
- The furnace breaks down only on weekends.
- Agendas that look the shortest take the longest time.
- Committees choose beige.
But the greatest of these is:
- Church boards don't like surprises!
Surprise, Surprise
My first experience with the no-surprises rule of church politics occurred when I was leading the youth group. We had planned an outdoor concert on the front lawn of the church. Unfortunately, we hadn't told the board that "Amazing Grace" and "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" weren't in the band's repertoire. Instead, the huge speakers blasted Christian rock music into the next Zip Code.
Suddenly a board member appeared and made a determined run for the electrical outlets. He was intercepted by an understanding pastor. I'm not exactly sure what was ...
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