During twenty-some years in ministry, I've asked hundreds of students two questions: "What did your parents do right, and what do you wish your parents had done differently?" The answers have been a tremendous help to my wife, Gloria, and me in raising our three kids. Although parenting is a huge responsibility, most of us, however well-educated, receive little or no training on how to parent well.

Parenting can be especially difficult for those of us in ministry. I recently asked a gifted youth leader how he was doing personally. He said he felt overwhelmed. Although his ministry was thriving, he worked four nights and sixty to seventy hours each week to keep it going. When I asked about the impact this had on his marriage and family, he said, "What else can I do? This is what's expected of me."

I looked him straight in the eyes and asked, "Where in scripture does it say you are to neglect your marriage and your kids to build a ministry?" It's a question I put to you as well. What is really ...