When You're Asked to Bury a Stranger
What to say about someone you've never met
As I drove to the funeral home all I knew about this man was that he was a farm hand. I wondered, "What can I say about someone I've never even met?"
Since that day, I have been called upon to bury several more strangers, and I've learned to:
1. Acknowledge the truth: "I didn't know Mrs. Burris."
2. Help unlock the memories of those gathered: "But you did know her." Then lead a series of prayerful statements to draw out people's memories:
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Do you remember the sound of her voice on the telephone?
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Do you remember how she looked in her wedding pictures?
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Do you remember how she sat in her favorite chair?
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Do you remember the way she blushed when she was embarrassed?
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Do you remember the way she spoke your name?
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Do you remember her standing at the kitchen sink?
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Do you remember the feel of her hand in yours?
And so on. Try to evoke memories most common to human experience and not those that ...
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