Can't you see it? In addition to a set of Kittel and a big fat Greek lexicon, seminary bookstores will soon be stocking economy-size bottles of Windex. Windex? Yep. If you can believe Hollywood, Windex may be what every pastor needs.

Inspired by the smash movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, I think I'll stock up on a case of Gus Portokalos's universal cure-all. If Windex worked for Gus, maybe it'll take care of the panes in my ministry. Gus thought a spray or two of the blue liquid would deodorize foul air, heal an injured finger, or get rid of a zit.

I haven't yet tried it on a certain deacon's fingers that are always poking where they don't belong, but I will. And I know a couple of zits I'd like to spritz. I'm also wondering if a well-aimed squirt will render Mrs. Talksalot mute for a month or two.

Gus is my new ministry hero.

I knew the family in the movie was like my own Greek family (Asimakou-

poulos, remember?), but I've been surprised to learn how much they're like my big fat church family. ...