Wed without dread

Jody Vickery's article "How I Stopped Dreading Weddings" (Spring 2000) did not convince me he is healed from his exasperation. Some suggestions:

Encourage couples to express themselves in the wedding ceremony so that they don't feel like stand-up, cut-out, cardboard figures repeating words written for them to say. Simplicity is not always the rule. Support the couple in being who they are in Christ.

Invite the couple (and their children) to dinner at the parsonage at the conclusion of counseling and in advance of the wedding. By the time the wedding comes, I have more love to give the couple because of our table fellowship. Sharing a meal together involves the pastor's family in wedding ministry. At present, my family includes three kids under five—our wedding dinners are a highlight of our shared ministry.

Develop a wedding ministry that includes lay leaders trained as sponsors for the couple. Encourage a mentoring relationship for the bride and groom with a married ...