During a recent baptism, I paraphrased a passage of Scripture to fit the situation: "If anyone is in Christ, he or she (I was baptizing a young woman) is a new creature in Christ."

The next morning, I was going through the cards we use for guest registration, prayer requests, and miscellaneous information. Suddenly one of them nailed me, by name, for "daring to change the infallible, inerrant, unchangeable Word of God. When the Bible says 'he,' it means 'he' … to change it to fit your rampant feminist agenda is the worst kind of heresy."

Most days I would have tossed it in the trash with the hope that he buy a better laxative. But that particular Monday, that note really scorched me. I wasted an hour writing a scathing reply, even though the note was unsigned. (We've since adopted the policy of trashing unsigned critiques without reading them.)

At lunch I told a buddy about it, and he asked, "Why did that one make you so angry?"

"I don't know," I grumped. "I'm sick of stupid people ...