Pastors

Friends To Die For

Though painful at the moment, rebuke is profitable in the long run.

Leadership Journal July 30, 2007

Rebuke from a friend is actually a form of love. Though painful at the moment, rebuke is profitable in the long run. When rebuke comes from a friend, you can trust the source. You know the person has your best interests in mind. Accepting rebuke is one thing, giving rebuke another. Both are needed to make friendship thrive.

Folly delights a man who lacks judgment, but a man of understanding keeps a straight course. Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. … Proverbs 15:21-22

He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise. He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding. The fear of the lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor, … Proverbs 15:31-33

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. … Proverbs 27:5-6

Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel…Proverbs 27:9

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.Proverbs 27:17

Character Check Do I have a friend who needs me to tell him or her the truth?

In Business Terms In ordinary life the people we like, our friends, are the people we find most difficult to rebuke. Yet, precisely with a friend, difficult advice goes deepest. Most of us don’t pay much attention to the critique of people we know don’t like us. However, we listen to our friends because we know they have our best interests in mind. But even deeper, we listen to our friends-even though doing so may hurt-because they know us at our best, they love us at our best, and they know when we are violating our own best self. No one but a friend knows when we are really hurting and when we need compassion, or when we are whining and need someone to kick us off the dead self-centered-ness of self-pity. It’s a difficult choice to live in loyal bond with friends whom the Word, Spirit, and conscience force us to discipline. That is the sign of being a leader. It doesn’t feel nice. But it requires the love of a leader.

—Dave Hansen

Something to Think About The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. – Flannery O’Connor

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