To keep my sanity, I periodically meet one-on-one with other leaders. The therapy is easy to describe: There’s comfort in knowing I’m not alone.
It would be easy to keep discussion focused on positive results—but do leaders lose sleep over good news? “If everything always goes well, then anyone can lead the place,” is a truth that should appear on an annual thank-you to an organization’s leader. Yet we press on.
To help stimulate “real” conversation with a leader from another church, company, or organization, use the following universal leadership dichotomies as discussion primers. At the end of your time together, you will feel relieved to know that you are not alone.
Open door vs. Strict boundaries How much unscheduled access to my time should I give? Too little creates unhealthy distance between a leader and volunteers, while too much hinders a leader’s productivity.
Encourage to success vs. “Change now or get fired” At what point does a staff member need to know the temperature is rising? Too early and a culture of fear can emerge; too late and a culture of tolerance takes over—just ahead of demise.
Vulnerability vs. Being an assuring presence How much does a leader need to share about how he or she really feels? BrenÉ Brown says vulnerability produces strength, but organizations facing steep challenges need to rally around someone steadfast and unruffled. I don’t disagree with Dr. Brown, but it’s worth looking for a limit.
Delegation vs. Making it happen When is it okay to personally tackle a task and lead by example? The right amount and correct timing of delegation can be tricky when compared to the need for progress. Sometimes the team needs to have pace modeled and expectations demonstrated.
Honoring the past vs. “We changed for a reason, people” What is the statute of limitations on referencing the past? Harkening back to the glory days can impede the need for forward thinking. Disrespecting previous leaders is a copout, but idolizing them will cause resistance to change.
Hiring fresh talent vs. Promoting from within How will the team react to someone from the outside? On the flip side: How will the team react to a peer becoming a supervisor? Finding a win for everyone could prove a long search.
Room to experiment vs. Need for results What’s the appropriate amount of space to give a person or team to produce results before jumping in to help? Short-term and long-term views produce very different answers. Can the ministry wait for the long term to arrive? Honest answer: Not always.
Adaptability vs. Guided by strategy When is the time right to veer off that strategic plan you spent 18 months crafting? Of course this only applies to challenging times—or does it? Letting the winds of change blow the ministry wherever they may is unappealing, but so is stubbornly staying on course and running aground.
Opportunity vs. Problem Does the situation call for motivation, or correction? Optimists constantly see opportunities. Realists see things that need to be fixed.
No bad questions vs. Stupid questions When has “idea time” turned unproductive? You don’t want to stifle creativity, but you also don’t want to waste time and brain energy. Yes, there are questions that make one question the intellect and intent behind them.
Time to decide vs. Opportunity lost How long is too long to wait on a decision? The amount of data available for decision-making continues to grow. The speed with which opportunities come and go also increases. So, what are you going to do?
David Staal, senior editor for Building Church Leaders and a mentor to a second grader, serves as the president of Kids Hope USA, a national non-profit organization that partners local churches with elementary schools to provide mentors for at-risk students. He also served ten years in leadership for a local church. David is the author of Lessons Kids Need to Learn (Zondervan, 2012) and Words Kids Need to Hear (Zondervan, 2008). He lives in Grand Haven, MI, with his wife Becky. His son Scott and daughter Erin attend Valparaiso University.
