Preemptive Peace Strikes

I was doing some counseling in a side hall when my radio crackled in my ear, “We need you in the East Hall. A fist fight has broken out.” It was Sunday morning “rush hour,” that time between services with large crowds both exiting and entering the building. When I arrived I found that two of our greeters had started an argument that had escalated into a fist fight—not exactly something we’d covered in volunteer training. The culprit in the argument was (drum roll please): politics. The greeters were embarrassed. I was embarrassed. Conflict had made yet another visible dent in the church.

Unhealthy conflict

What non-believer would be drawn to a church where conflict is palpable? They can find conflict in every other sector of their lives—they come seeking a place of peace, but too often don’t find it.

Ministry is conflict. I agree with Westley from the Princess Bride when he tells Buttercup, “Life is pain … Anyone who says differently is selling something.” In a typical day, those serving in ministry find themselves struggling with the sins of others, personal temptation, budget woes, selfishness, and even others in ministry. These conflicts can be healthy and life-giving (I think the church could actually use a much larger dose of healthy conflict), but only when they stimulate dialog, encourage creativity, and create positive change. However, the greater percentage of conflict in the church is unhealthy conflict. This kind of conflict destroys our relationships, morale, and effectiveness.

Community is torn apart when people in a church choose sides. Instead of focusing on reaching the lost and building disciples, ministry staff and volunteers find their time and energy sapped by petty arguments and gossip-mongering. What non-believer would be drawn to a church where conflict is palpable? They can find conflict in every other sector of their lives—they come seeking a place of peace, but too often don’t find it. If conflict continues unresolved, church members and staff flee and congregations crumble.

Healthy spiritual leadership

I had just seen an illustration of an important factor in preventing conflict. I had seen leaders model healthy spiritual leadership and engage in honest and vulnerable communication.

There is no way that we can prevent all conflict from happening in ministry, but there are a few key things that we can do to reduce the likelihood of conflict. Once, early in my ministry, I heard a colleague say in a staff meeting, “I’m not sure I should even be on a church staff anymore.” I expected to see my shock mirrored in the other’s faces. It wasn’t. At my old job, saying something like that would be the same as committing vocational suicide. Instead I saw heartfelt concern. Not only that, but we closed the conversation with prayer for this staff member. In this same meeting several people openly disagreed with the senior minister. But wonder of wonders, no laser beams shot out from his eyes. Instead, healthy dialogue took place and then we all went to lunch.

I didn’t know it at the time, but I had just seen an illustration of an important factor in preventing conflict. I had seen leaders model healthy spiritual leadership and engage in honest and vulnerable communication. I have also seen healthy spiritual leadership when members of our staff have taught from God’s Word transparently using their own mistakes as illustrations. I have seen it when grown men and women stop in a crowded lobby to pray with families who are hurting, actively listening and demonstrating that prayer and relationships take priority over tasks. I have even seen it as godly leaders ask for the forgiveness of other staff members in staff meetings for having talked about them behind their back. These kinds of models of good communication and spiritual leadership mean more than any sermon, song, or article can ever mean.

Finding the right seat

Another way to forestall conflict is by effective recruitment and discerning placement of volunteers. When people are in the wrong place doing the wrong thing, conflict is the inevitable fallout. Early in my ministry years, I noticed how many on my welcoming team looked anything but welcoming. They were faithful servants—but not effective servants. Week after week they grimly stood their posts and dutifully opened doors or passed out bulletins. I’ll never forget a conversation I had with one of these women. I asked her if she enjoyed serving God in this way and she asked me, “What does enjoyment have to do with it”? I had people who wanted to do the right things for God but who had been placed in the wrong roles. Service will not always be fun, but we should feel great satisfaction in serving God in the right place and in the right way.

When introverts (and I’m one of them) serve in ministries more in line with who God has made them to be, they thrive. When my introverted greeters left the extroverted positions they had held for years, extroverts who thrive off of greeting people took their places. The Lord has blessed us with common sense and we have an obligation to exercise it. Leaders must root out the idea that some positions are more important than others and follow the biblical principle that each ministry area is important and should be staffed according to gifting and ability instead of tenure and popularity. When people find their ministry role in this way, the conflict that exists as a result of being in the wrong seat on the bus is eliminated.

Proper alignment

Another important thing is for people to know what they are doing and why they are doing it. As a part of a recent job review I looked up my most up-to-date job description. It was three years old and bore little resemblance to what I am actually doing now. This wasn’t a big deal because I am in almost constant communication with other staff members about what I’m doing and why. However, if I was a volunteer leader or if I was not in regular contact with other people in my ministry, this out-of-date job description would create quite a problem. This is a conflict problem we call alignment. Alignment conflict exists when we are not all in agreement as to what it is that we are trying to accomplish.

Alignment conflict exists when we are not all in agreement as to what it is that we are trying to accomplish.

I once helped one of our ministries create a mission statement that was in alignment with the mission statement of the church. It was a fantastic meeting and everyone was excited about the direction. Much to my chagrin I heard the next day of some new plans that ministry had made that had nothing to do with all of the work we had put in on the very core reasons that this ministry existed. How often do we, as leaders, believe that we have communicated something clearly and have total agreement, only to later learn that everyone left with different interpretations of the ministry and expectations? Alignment creates a laser focus on ministry goals so that everybody finds themselves on the same team, all working towards the same goals.

A key component to alignment is training. I oversee our Guest Services teams and I recently had a ministry leader ask me about my training schedule. I shared that I didn’t really have one but that I would be glad to help in any way that I could. The disappointed look on their face spoke volumes about my leadership. I was not setting them up for success. If you are a leader in ministry, one of your primary responsibilities is equipping people for ministry through proper training. Training creates alignment. Training takes communication. Training heads off unhealthy conflict. Once you have recruited people to the right ministry positions, teach them the skills they need to succeed. Include the proper relational and conflict skills they will need to be successful. Training takes a great investment of time and fails sometimes. However, by taking up the challenge of training and retraining, we increase the chances of success in our ministries. Then the church can accomplish its mission of reaching the lost and building disciples on a much larger scale.

Removing the barrier of conflict

Each of these principles—healthy leadership, honest and vulnerable communication, effective recruitment and placement of volunteers, and creating alignment through training and communication—creates a primary element of “preemptive peace” in ministry. Relationship building is difficult but so worth it both for our lives and our ministries. A leader who is not personally engaged with the people in their ministry fosters and breeds the opportunity for unhealthy conflict.

A leader who is not personally engaged with the people in their ministry fosters and breeds the opportunity for unhealthy conflict.

The point is this: When we take on the mantle of spiritual leadership, we take on the responsibility for preventing and managing conflict in a way that brings glory to God. Through modeling godly leadership, healthy ministry placement, effective alignment and communication, and training for success, God works through our relationships and brings trust to a group of individuals that are committed to be used by God for his glory. Through these preemptive measures we remove the barrier of unhealthy conflict that can hinder the work of God through us.

We also might find that we are finding more joy in our ministries than we had ever thought possible.

Shan Caldwell serves on staff with Indian Creek Christian Church in Indianapolis.