Pastors

Should the church ever intervene in a marriage if the couple has not sought help?

Leadership Journal April 25, 2012

Generally, most marriage counselors, churches, and other marriage intervention ministries prefer that an individual or couple in need take the initiative to make the first contact for support. This is viewed as a way of taking responsibility for the current state of the marriage. However, there may be extenuating circumstances that require the church to initiate intervention. Some examples may include:

  • If a spouse, child, or other person is in danger due to domestic violence, sexual abuse, drug and/or alcohol addiction, etc., immediate intervention should be made and proper authorities must be consulted.
  • If adultery or other sexual sin is suspected with reasonable evidence for suspicion, the spouse in question should be lovingly, but honestly, confronted using proper church disciplinary measures and Biblical guidelines for intervention. If the spouse confesses and acknowledges his or her sexual sin, the church should offer to tangibly assist in the disclosure of the infidelity with the spouse’s husband/wife and proper arrangements should be made in advance to support marital reconciliation, such as the resources offered by Hope and Healing Ministries.
  • In situations where marital strife is suspected, sometimes just a genuine offer to pray for an individual or couple will ignite or initiate the disclosure of needs which opens the door to support. Generally speaking, if the entire church body uses a common language and shares a common knowledge of what is regularly offered by the church to marriages in need (and a culture of authenticity, vulnerability, and reconciliation is foundational) assistance is more readily and freely sought.

One of the most effective means of church intervention is prayer. Click here to download a helpful prayer guide that can be copied and distributed to your church or organization.

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