Give Ground, Gain Credibility

I recognize my own tendency to abuse power or to manipulate others to get what I want. For that reason I find it necessary to meet weekly with a trusted colleague. Usually it’s an older, seasoned minister who provides counsel and helps me navigate leadership issues.

Recently in one of these sessions I confessed, “I was tempted to play the senior pastor card this week by push through my desire to have a special speaker come to our church.”

Earlier that week I had encountered resistance to having the special speaker come. A few church members heard that I wanted to bring this speaker, whom they dubbed a “celebrity,” to our church for a special outreach event. I was hoping that the speaker would draw a crowd and enable us to reach new people in our community. But I was also flattered that a prominent speaker would visit our little church, though I didn’t want to admit that was part of my motivation.

I became angry when negative feedback reached my ears. One of our members said, “We’ve tried this sort of event before and haven’t seen much success. Plus one of those times the guest speaker was way out in left field and we had to do some serious damage control.”

I took the critique personally. Didn’t this church member trust my judgment? Didn’t he realize that I would thoroughly vet the speaker?

As I discussed the situation with my coffee partner, he asked some excellent questions:

“Would this event further your church’s vision in a way that no other event can? Could there be a kernel of truth in the feedback you received?”

These questions brought some of my darker motives into uncomfortably clear focus. I realized that I was star struck by this “celebrity” and had been blinded to some potential pitfalls. Having this speaker come would have meant using a significant amount of our outreach budget and kept us from pursing other forms of outreach. The potential results of a one-time event probably wouldn’t be as fruitful as doing several service-oriented outreach efforts.

On the drive home from my coffee chat, I decided to stop pushing my agenda. I immediately informed the speaker’s booking agent about my decision. The agent understood. Fortunately I hadn’t plopped down the “save the date” money.

Those who were critical of the speaker coming were relieved. Rather than feeling like I had lost authority, it seemed like I actually gained more. They responded to my decision with tremendous support in our other initiatives.

Other leaders saw that I was willing to process honest feedback and respond with prayerful reflection and seek wise counsel. I guess you could say that my pastoral authority increased as my personal agenda decreased.

—Clark Cothern is pastor of Living Water Community Church in Ypsilanti, Michigan