All churches experience the mixed blessing of big givers. In some churches, the person may own the local parts store, or twelve hundred acres of wheat; in others, the person may be vice president of an oil company. In some churches, a person wields power by donating thousands; in others, it may be millions. The amounts vary. The dynamics do not.
How do you treat those who contribute more than others? Michael Tucker, who pastors a church that came into being through large donations, discusses the peculiar factors.
Bethany Community Church exploded into existence. Four families, during the summer of 1977, decided there was a need for a church in this part of the Phoenix metropolitan area. One family donated ten acres of land, and in 120 days the church opened.
That Sunday a full-time pastor welcomed worshipers to a six-hundred-seat sanctuary, educational rooms, fellowship areas, a nursery, offices, and a gym-in all, twenty-nine thousand square feet of buildings linked by manicured lawns and flower beds. In the next 120 days, four more full-time pastors were added to the staff.
Obviously, this is not a normal church-planting scenario. The church is not affiliated with any denomination, so it’s evident some of those founding families and others who have followed have deep pockets.
In the past five years the church has paid cash for two additional classroom buildings and added six and a half acres. It is now building another educational building and a two-thousand-seat worship center.
So much for the good news; now for the bad.
One of the founding families fought the first pastor for control. Both left the church after an unpleasant battle, and the church bled.
But through that painful experience, Bethany learned some important lessons about ministry to and with big givers.
Power Structures
Some people frown at any hint of power structures in the church, but power structures exist in any group of people-including God’s people, including God’s people who are spiritual.
Power is not inherently evil; it’s simply the ability to cause or prevent change. Anyone who wants to accomplish something in a church is wise to recognize this fundamental reality. Some matters cannot be birthed or buried unless certain people in the congregation nod in assent. Their wrinkled nose and slight movement of the head from side to side will kill any project.
How is power gained in a church? Usually, through service and sacrificial giving. For most people, this means not necessarily money, but time, energy, and sweat. Most leaders in a congregation have set up chairs, endured committee meetings, cleaned bathrooms, helped out on work days, car-pooled kids to camp, and vacuumed potato chips from their carpets after youth parties. They have worked hard; they have tenure. For this reason they hold power. That is the way it is, and that is the way it should be. Leadership comes through servanthood.
Fortunately, most people who enjoy a position of power do so legitimately. In addition to their service, they’ve shown a mature understanding of God’s Word and they exhibit the fruit of the Spirit. Their service does not replace, but demonstrates, their spiritual qualifications. The mature church will not allow anyone to hold power who is not a spiritual person.
What about the big giver? Does he or she have any rights to the throne room? Again, power comes by a natural process, through service. The big giver serves by giving money, and gains power just as those who have given time, energy, and sweat do.
But that’s the wrinkle. Big givers may not always be able to demonstrate their commitment and servanthood at church work days. Their schedules may prevent that. Writing a check appears less of a sacrifice than hauling kids to camp, particularly when the person has so much more than others. But usually the sacrifice is not less, only different.
I’m convinced that if the big giver is a spiritual person who does not seek to control because of the size of his gift but gives with the right motives and attitudes, he or she certainly is entitled to a place of respect and status in the church. The criterion is the same for the persons who give money (which represents time and energy) as for those who give time and energy directly. Provided they exhibit spiritual maturity, they are entitled to hold power.
Giving big gifts alone does not warrant power in the church; neither does performing many needed jobs. But each type of service, when accompanied by the appropriate spiritual qualifications, does entitle one to power. Simply put, the big giver, though his or her serving may be in a different form, must be treated the same way as everyone else in the congregation.
Some churches actually discriminate against big givers because they fear they’ll take control. I’ve known pastors who resented the big givers in their church who heavily supported parachurch organizations-“He’s not part of our team”-despite the fact the church also received substantial support. But if a member with a gift of teaching leads a Bible study for another group, these pastors don’t have any problem with that. So I try to be careful not to misunderstand or ignore the big giver simply because he or she has potential to hold power.
Special Needs
We all agree in principle that the big giver should be treated like anyone else in the congregation. But I’ve also learned that big givers need personal attention, personal recruitment.
That sounds like it contradicts the principle of equal treatment. Actually, it complements it.
When there is a need for a fifth-grade Sunday school teacher, youth sponsor, or usher, the church leaders pray about it, advertise in the Sunday bulletin, and possibly announce the need during a church service or adult class. If a qualified person doesn’t quickly volunteer, those responsible for the position then approach people personally and ask them to consider serving. No one has heartburn about recruiting those who have certain spiritual gifts and can meet the needs of the church by exercising those gifts.
When the church has a financial need, leaders go through some of the same motions-prayer and announcements. If the need is still not met, the pastor or another leader may mail a letter to the congregation. The pastor may preach about the matter. But some church leaders who approve of contacting potential teachers for teaching opportunities somehow feel it’s improper to contact potential givers to meet a financial need. Just as some of the best teachers wait until they’re asked to serve, some givers will not give unless they are personally contacted. We do not accuse the teacher of pride or suggest he or she is a prima donna, yet we often feel that way about givers who wait for a personal invitation to give.
When we began our present building project, I contacted a member who owns a construction subcontracting business and has considerable resources. He has never attempted to control any part of the church’s ministry. I told him what the building committee was thinking and asked his advice about the project. He was pleased that I sought his advice, and he graciously gave some good counsel.
He then volunteered to give one hundred thousand dollars to the project. In addition, he promised to donate his firm’s labor and materials for a part of the work, which amounted to another fifty thousand. He had heard about the building, attended the meetings where we discussed and voted on it, read the literature we sent to his home, but he still needed to be recruited personally before he got involved.
Recently the church needed a van. We prayed about and publicized the need, but nothing happened. I then called two people and asked if they would be interested in helping. Both had heard and read about the need for a van, but neither had given toward it. Although I put no pressure on either person, in ten minutes of phone conversations I had the fifteen thousand dollars we needed for that used van.
Big givers should be treated like everyone else, which may mean they need to be recruited personally to use their resources in the ministry.
Parachurch groups, which have a stewardship department, planned-giving representatives, or development directors, live by the rule: “People don’t give because no one asks.” So they ask. But the church, which spiritually feeds that big giver, changes his children’s diapers in the nursery, gives guidance to his teenager, offers him fellowship with other Christians, and takes meals to his home when he has his gall bladder removed, often goes without the benefit of that person’s resources because no one asks.
The Secret Side of Giving
A third principle is that giving usually should not be a highly visible ministry. The song leader, usher, teacher, and preacher have gifts that push them into the spotlight. That is the nature of their gifts. But each one has an obligation to move the congregation’s eyes from him or her to the Lord. If people exit the church on Sunday and whisper to each other, “Isn’t he a marvelous preacher?” he is not. We preachers have done our work well only when they exclaim, “Isn’t Jesus wonderful!”
It’s difficult for a big giver to stand in the spotlight and give God the glory for his ability to make a large donation-certainly harder than for the preacher to give God glory through the sermon. It can be done, and in some cases should be done as a model of cheerful and godly generosity, but it is difficult to do well.
My only personal experience with this came after we hired a consulting firm to help our church raise funds. Midway through the four-month program, the consultant wanted us to have four people give public testimonies on four consecutive Sunday mornings. These people would tell not only why they were backing the project but how much they were committing. My back stiffened a bit. Then he said, “I feel the first testimony ought to come from the pastor.”
I gulped. But after considerable prayer, discussion, and searching Scripture about the matter, our leaders concluded it could be done appropriately. With humility and in the power of the Holy Spirit, such a presentation need not be a source of sin that elevates people and causes pride or envy.
I gave my testimony and told how much I was committing to the project. The three others followed, and I believe the net effect was encouraging to the church. Afterward, some people thanked me for my courage, because they knew how I struggled to say those things. But no one complimented me for giving, and for that I’m glad.
Sometimes people compliment me for a sermon I preach. That is not a source of embarrassment to me, and (to the best of my understanding) it does not cause me undue pride. But if someone had thanked me for giving to the building project, I would have been embarrassed. My feelings reminded me that giving is not usually a ministry that should receive public attention or applause.
Discipleship without Indebtedness
It’s easy for us to be intimidated by the high and mighty. Wealthy people sometimes seem so secure, confident, and self-contained. In difficult situations we may be tempted not to confront them for fear of alienating them, but we need to remember they need what we offer. They need the same discipling we give to others.
A few years ago I learned that a wealthy man in our church was cheating on his wife. That day I went to his office and confronted him about his sin. He vowed to turn from the illicit relationship and restore his walk with Christ.
Sadly, he did not, and his wife soon discovered the truth. I invested dozens of hours in counseling them. For several months not a day went by that I was not heavily involved in that case. One Saturday evening their college-aged son called me and explained through tears that his parents were having another shouting match. He asked me to come to their home.
I asked if there was physical violence. He said no. I advised him to ask his parents if they wanted my help; if so, I would gladly come. Within two minutes the wife called and calmly announced, “I just shot my husband.”
I rushed to their home and spent the rest of the night attempting to keep the wife out of jail while trying to keep current on the husband’s condition. He lived, and their marriage survived, but the price was high for many of us who tried to help.
During the crisis in that marriage, I made sure no one asked that multimillionaire for anything for our church. I wanted this family to know our ministry is not for sale. Money cannot buy the meal we serve. We gave to them because we love them, not because they could give to us.
It’s important to disciple the big givers, but when we do, to make sure they don’t feel they have to pay for our services. Wealthy people who get on the lists with charities and parachurch groups often grow weary of being exploited. A millionaire told me recently he has decided not to meet with any more Christians who “just want to get to know you better.” The fact is, most of these folks really don’t want to get to know him. They want financial support.
Some wealthy Christians I know get more than a dozen telephone calls each month from people who want to reach into their wallets, and very few of those who ask for support make any attempt to minister to these wealthy people. The local church is called both to give these people an opportunity to minister to others and to minister to them-without obligating them.
Accountable Generosity
As strange as it sounds, however, even generosity needs to be held accountable. For their own good, big givers need to learn to give without attaching strings. It is usually best for a gift to be given to the church or group without demands on exactly how it is to be spent. Giving that comes with strings isn’t a gift; it’s a purchase. Gifts are given away-without demands on the recipient.
Certainly there are times when people give to special projects, and they want their money to be spent on that project. That is natural and lawful. The contributor should have the freedom to make suggestions but not to impose his or her will on the group. He can give to the building fund, but that does not entitle him to decide on all the building details. She can pay for the painting to be placed in the foyer, but others should have a voice about the selection of the artist and frame. He can purchase a computer for the church, but others should have the freedom to select the appropriate hardware and software.
This most often becomes a problem when a person wants to donate a decorator item, something that will be displayed in the church. A couple of times I’ve seen that a proposed gift would be controversial, so I’ve talked with the donors. In both cases there was no problem; they readily accepted that decorations, since they are publicly displayed and enjoyed, are best selected by public taste.
The principle of holding generosity accountable does not imply, however, that a gift cannot be offered within specific boundaries. Take, for example, the practice of some big givers to offer “matching gifts.” This condition for a gift holds merit because it usually motivates the group to do the hard work of fund raising without depending on only a few. It may be that Mr. Deep Pockets could fund the whole project without denting his stack of CDs, but that might be harmful for the church’s spiritual growth. All members need to grow through financial sacrifice.
So I see no problem with donors setting certain conditions under which they will give-as long as they understand the church has the freedom to kindly refuse the gift, without offending the donor, if it doesn’t feel comfortable with the restrictions.
A few years ago Harley was a school teacher living on a modest income. Then he began his own business and rapidly became quite wealthy. Through his children he became interested in a mission project in another country. Now he gives five thousand dollars each month to help several churches and pastors in this impoverished Third World country. That kind of contribution could be used to control decisions in those ministries, but from his humble background and consistent walk with the Lord, Harley has learned to give without strings. He has established a board of directors to allocate the money and make decisions about future investments in the ministries in that country.
Joining Forces
Perhaps the biggest problem from having deep-pocket donors is that people who cannot give as much feel unnecessary and stop giving. At Bethany, however, we’ve found that with these principles, big givers and little givers can gladly join forces-without little givers feeling insignificant.
We’ve tried hard to create a climate where both big givers and little givers can offer themselves and their means to God’s service. The key is not equal gifts but equal sacrifice.
One of the four public testimonies I mentioned earlier was given by an elder who is a school teacher. As part of his testimony, he told the amount he would be giving to the building project. The figure was literally one-tenth of that donated by one of the other individuals who gave a testimony. Yet afterward, this elder told me he felt no intimidation or discredit.
To me, that was a sign of true spiritual victory. I was as glad to receive that word as I was to receive any hefty pledge.
Michael R. Tucker is pastor of Bethany Community Church in Tempe, Arizona.
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