As a pastor juggling crushing schedules and overflowing inboxes, carving out time and space for spiritual nourishment can feel burdensome. Thankfully, we can look to church history for resources to refresh the soul. Throughout the centuries, Christians have woven intricate tapestries of renewal, each thread a path designed to draw God’s people closer to him and to each other.
In the pages that follow, we examine a few of these tapestries, illuminating strands that have dimmed with age or lack of use. In doing so, we find permission stitched into every image—permission to consider these practices, to honor our own longing for sustenance, and to find, or even create, the quiet moments where our souls can drink from the well of God’s goodness.
1. SOLITUDE
After [Jesus] had dismissed [the crowds], he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone. Matthew 14:2-3
In solitude the useless trivialities of life begin to drop away. We are set free from the many “false selves” we have built up in order to cope with the expectations others place upon us—and we place upon ourselves. Solitude empowers us to walk away from all human pretense and manipulation. In addition, God uses our experiences of solitude to enable us to become who we truly are. Richard Foster in The Making of an Ordinary Saint by Nathan Foster
How do you feel about being alone? Really alone? No headphones, no phone, just you and your thoughts in the silence.
Many feel anxious with the idea of being alone with silence. Nearly every moment of the day, our lives are narrated by noise. Whether or not we’re conscious of it, we’re accustomed to it. And this is what makes solitude so vital.
Solitude plays a powerful role in viewing one’s identity in light of who God is. It removes the evaluations you may experience with others as a pastor and welcomes you into a place where only God can meet you. In solitude, you are invited to remember that while pastoring is an important thread, it’s not the whole picture.
Preparing sermons, counseling congregants, and leading meetings can—and should—be done in service to God. Yet, alone, those efforts can leave many pastors feeling spiritually parched. Solitude offers a sanctuary, a space to ask the soul-searching question: Who am I? And in the quiet, to hear God’s reassuring whisper: “Mine.”
If you’re new to solitude or revisiting it, consider easing in with a three-minute visit. Find a quiet corner, set an alarm as a reminder so you won’t compulsively check the time, and then silence your phone. If needed, sip some water and take a few deep breaths to help ease the transition from doer to receiver.
This time isn’t about mastering meditation poses or memorizing Scripture. It’s about loosening your grip on the reins and letting Jesus hold them for a while. Embrace the posture that best allows you to receive God’s presence, be it sitting with open palms, gently rocking, or taking a quiet stroll. Fix your gaze on a single verse, a heartfelt prayer, or a virtue that resonates with your soul. Don’t overthink it; just let it be whatever feels important in that moment.
Three minutes, a few times a week might seem insignificant, but those small stitches of solitude can create a beautiful and deep awareness of God. As Richard Foster writes, “In solitude, we are so bathed in God’s greatness and goodness that we come to see the immense value of our own soul.” Slowly, the frantic strivings begin to lose their grip, replaced by a newfound peace and freedom in God’s presence.
2. WORSHIP
Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago. Isaiah 25:1
Worship will become the constant undertone of our lives. It is the single most powerful force in completing and sustaining restoration of our whole beings to God. Nothing can inform, guide, and sustain pervasive and radiant goodness in a person other than the true vision of God and the worship that spontaneously arises from it. Then the power of the indwelling Christ flows from us to others. Dallas Willard in The Great Omission
Worship isn’t about Sunday mornings with dimmed lights and raised hands. Rather, as Dallas Willard explains, it involves engaging with, dwelling upon, and expressing the greatness, beauty, and goodness of God. For some pastors, this might feel like a daunting task, a shift from leading to simply receiving. But, thankfully, worship is constant.
When including worship in daily life, we should not limit it to praise and worship music or recitations of the psalms. According to Willard, the heart of worship lies in sharpening your focus on God’s goodness. It’s about a daily audit of your thoughts, asking, “What truly sparks joy, brings beauty, or fills me with awe?”
Work hard to embrace the everyday, the ordinary, and the joyful, for in these moments lies the essence of true worship.
3. FELLOWSHIP
For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:20
The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and His work become the one and only thing that is vital between us. Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together
All friendships require work, and those nurtured within a congregation carry extra layers of consideration. Some caution against them, while others see these relationships as the cornerstone of community. Most, however, agree friendships for pastors are complicated—and essential.
A staggering 65 percent of church leaders report loneliness according to a 2023 Barna survey. That’s a sobering statistic, but it doesn’t have to be your reality. Here are some key reminders for navigating the murky waters of pastoral friendships.
1. You deserve deep, mutual bonds.
Ministry requires sacrifice, but being truly known and loved shouldn’t be one of them. Your whole self—desires, joys, frustrations, memories—deserves genuine connection.
2. You have more to offer than guidance.
While pastors are often sought out for support, that’s not your sole contribution. Remember–your presence, your laughter, your stories–these are gifts to your community, not burdens.
3. Investing in friendships is ministry.
Many pastors leave ministry due to isolation. Cultivating friendships isn’t selfish; it’s an act of care for you and your flock. Everyone deserves deep, reciprocal relationships, and pastors are no exception.
4. Recognize the warning signs of isolation. Inner reservation: Do you hold back from being vulnerable? Guarding yourself constantly can be a sign of growing isolation.
One-sided relationships: Assess your interactions. Do your conversations feel lopsided? Lack of reciprocity can point to a lack of mutual support.
Sense of disconnection: Are you just going through the motions socially? It might be time to reevaluate your community.
5. Take proactive steps to build healthy friendships.
Foster open dialogue: Be honest with a trusted friend or family member who understands your journey. Vulnerability builds connection.
Initiate shared activities: Learn, play, and feast together. Shared experiences deepen belonging and community.
Seek collective wisdom: Discuss your needs with church leaders. They can help navigate the complexities of pastoral relationships.
Create a stable social rhythm: Because community thrives with consistency, schedule regular meet-ups or activities.
Explore new interests: Shared curiosity and learning can strengthen bonds. Try a new hobby or discuss a mutual interest with a friend.
Prioritizing Renewal
Implementing these practices can be transformative, offering renewal in the midst of demanding ministry seasons. May each step taken in solitude, worship, and fellowship knit you closer to both your community and the heart of God.
