I’ve found it isn’t enough to be true to myself and God alone. I must go the second mile, not only that others might not be confused but that ministry might effectively continue.
—Paul Cedar
For nearly three decades of ministry I was unaware of anyone ever questioning my integrity. Then it happened without warning.
A member of the pastoral staff of the church I was serving began telling others he was concerned about my lack of integrity. He had suggested his concern to me during one brief encounter, but I was unaware he was speaking so freely to others.
Then came the day of a church board meeting where we were discussing a serious and potentially divisive matter. When I asked for an open discussion to let board members express their concerns, I was surprised to find the conversation turn toward me. Three of the board members said that the church’s real problem was not the issue under discussion but me. They said they had questions about my personal integrity.
I was shocked. In disbelief, I asked them what they were especially concerned about, but they were vague. As we proceeded, I figured out that the common denominator of their concern was their respect for one of the other pastoral staff who had sowed seeds of suspicion about me in their minds.
Unfortunately, this man had fallen into the trap of trying to build himself up by tearing another down. What he said was simply untrue, but it caused me a great deal of pain.
Most pastors and Christian leaders want to do what is right. As we serve Christ and his church, we want to live above reproach. Yet despite our best efforts, people frequently misinterpret, although not always maliciously, our actions and words.
So I’ve found it isn’t enough to be true to myself and God alone. I must go the second mile, not only that others might not be confused but that ministry might effectively continue. That was true when I was a pastor and it remains true in my role as president of a denomination. Here’s how I try to do that.
Remember the Goal
First, I need realistic goals. The extra mile of pastoral integrity doesn’t mean perfection, which is unachievable, but distinct progress in the Christian life. To paraphrase the apostle Paul, I have not fully attained it, but I am committed increasingly to follow Jesus as Lord, to walk in the Spirit.
As I walk in the Spirit, I stumble sometimes. All of us fail. That is not the question. The question is what we do with those sins and shortcomings. If we confess those sins to the Lord (enabled to do so by the power of the Holy Spirit) and if we deny ourselves, taking up the cross of Jesus daily, then we are sufficiently prepared to give spiritual leadership to others.
So I disagree with those who question a leader’s integrity because of the leader’s minor faults or infrequent misstatements. If integrity means perfection, then no one is eligible. And if true spirituality is judged on keeping the law, then as Paul shared with the Galatian church, Christ has died in vain.
Nonetheless, that is no excuse for mediocrity. God calls me as a leader to a higher standard, and with good reason. People use a leader’s misconduct to justify themselves: “If he’s pastor, and he does this, certainly it’s right for me.” Going the extra mile means walking with Christ so that others can follow me as I follow Christ.
That’s why I abstain from drinking alcohol, for example. I don’t pass judgment on Christians who with a clear conscience drink moderately. But I know even moderate drinking can invite problems, tensions, and temptations for many people. I am especially conscious of youth and their parents; I’ve counseled many alcoholic churched teens, and without exception, their parents were drinkers. If I were to become a stumbling block to even one person in this area, that to me would be one too many.
That’s also why I try to handle family finances with integrity, honesty, and faithfulness. My wife, Jeannie, and I are committed to paying all our bills on time, even ahead of time. All through our married life, our credit has been A +.
And in the context of the office, I normally ask another, usually the church’s business administrator, to hold me accountable for all paperwork, even beyond what is required by the auditor. I want to err on the side of safety in finances.
In a quiet, subtle way such financial practices become effective testimonies to others. To paraphrase the apostle Paul, if Christian leaders cannot handle their finances, how can they give effective leadership to the church?
Maintain Habits That Support Integrity
How we handle our finances is a matter of Christian stewardship. In the same way. God expects us to be good stewards of our time. That begins with our daily schedules. For me discipline and regularity are the keys. Few things sustain integrity like rhythmic work habits.
• Devotions. Rising early to seek the Lord—to spend time in the Scriptures and in prayer—is a basic discipline for most of us. And I’m careful to pursue personal devotions at this time, not turn it into sermon preparation. I do my devotions at home in my study, alternating them with exercise, jogging and walking, with my thoughts stayed on God, then returning to prayer and Scripture.
I’ve found that if I neglect this discipline, every other part of my day is compromised. Devotions insure a deeper, stronger walk with God. The deeper my walk with God, the better I’m able to resist temptation.
• Study. In the same way, I’ve found it best to reserve specific times for biblical study and sermon preparation. For years I’ve tried to set aside Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday mornings for study and sermon preparation. And I’ve found I can remain more focused when I study at home than at the church or office. I enjoy study and sermon preparation, but I’m not an intellectual. I find people more compelling than paper. At the church office, if someone came knocking with even a small emergency, it was nearly impossible for me to say no.
The discipline of secluded study helps me fulfill my responsibility to nourish and feed people through teaching and preaching. It prevents a sloppiness that would have disastrous long-term effects on the lives of the people God has entrusted to my care.
• Family. Integrity also requires that I schedule significant and appropriate times with my family. Frankly, most of us pastors won’t spend significant time with our families if we do not schedule it in advance. So when I buy a new datebook, the first appointments I write into it are regular times with God and consistent times with my family.
Other disciplines have helped insure the quality of the time I spend at home. For example, I’ve found it best to keep administration at the office. At one church I fell into the trap of taking more and more administrative work home, compromising both family and study time. Several years ago, a light blinked on, and I decided. No administration will be done at home.
Another important discipline has been taking control of the home phone. How I did that varied with the size of the church and the setting. At one church I had a separate phone line for my home study. Only my family members, my secretary, and members of the pastoral team knew the number. Anytime I was there, I would answer; if I was out, the family let it ring.
Because a large church creates special visibility and problems, when I was at Lake Avenue I had an unlisted home number, which was nevertheless distributed freely within the church family. When I was studying and Jeannie wasn’t home, an answering machine covered the family phone. In order to maintain quality interaction in my family, I felt I had to go the extra mile in these ways. It would not speak well for my integrity to have my family life fail while my pastorate succeeded.
• Pastoral duties. Because of the many demands on a pastor’s time, I found it imperative to stick to a few practical disciplines while at the office.
For example, most of my Wednesdays were spent with the pastoral staff, both in business meetings and personal appointments. And once a month I had lunch with the chairpersons of the major boards as well as the church’s chairman.
Then, within set boundaries, I tried to balance pastoring people with administrating the organization. Since administration and staff concerns always threatened to consume my time, I made it a special point to keep in touch with the people of the church. I’ve always had a policy of seeing anyone in the congregation who wanted to talk with me.
So I set aside a specific number of hours each week for counseling and personal contact with the congregation. Sometimes I would move around the church campus and see people in their daily settings. Sometimes I’d spend five minutes, sometimes fifty, doing this. It was important that I not seem too busy or important to be a pastor to my people.
But no matter how much I enjoy being with people, I’ve still had to balance the time I spend with people with study, administration, devotions, and family time. Ironically, people can disrupt that balance and all of our disciplines that sustain the integrity of our scheduling. The question is, how do we go the extra mile with them without going the extra five miles? Here’s one way I found helpful.
Several years ago, a man young in the faith phoned several times to talk to me. Unfortunately he had the gift of calling when I was unavailable, and he began to get irate with my secretary, even screaming and swearing at her.
Finally I told my secretary, “Next time he calls, put him through, no matter whom I’m with; I’ve got to deal with this guy.”
Once we connected, he was just as nice as could be. I told him, “I care about you, and we’re going to help you, but I’m really sorry to hear how you’ve been treating my secretary.” Then I arranged for him to come in for an appointment.
We sat down, and as I’ve done with many people, I explained to him carefully why it was impossible for me to see him every time he called. Then I said, “I’ll make a deal with you. We’ll set up two appointments a year together. At other times, if you need help, we always have a pastor on call, twenty-four hours a day, every day.”
It worked great. We would talk for an hour, sipping soft drinks. I liked spending time with him, and he felt special.
Good habits—with God, with family, with the church—help me maintain my integrity because they help me stay on track in all my responsibilities.
Be in the World but a Cut Above It
Several years ago I prayed the invocation at a major community dinner, a fund-raising event for a hospital. The Los Angeles chief of police was speaker, and during the dinner I was seated next to him. The servers began pouring wine. In such situations, though I don’t drink, I often allow them to fill the glass so they won’t keep asking. That particular evening I said, “No, thank you,” and requested they take the glass.
The next morning on the front page of the daily newspaper appeared a picture of the chief of police with me sitting by his side, his wine glass in front of him, mine gone. My first thought was how it would have appeared to some if I had allowed the waiter to leave a filled glass.
That experience, among many others, brought home to me the truth that when I’m on secular turf, my integrity is examined even more closely. So going the extra mile is even more important when I find myself in a public setting. For me this means two things.
• Take care in potentially compromising situations. For instance, when I take my secretary to lunch, Jeannie, my wife, always goes with us. Although in this age it’s normal for businessmen and businesswomen to lunch together, in my role many could misinterpret my conduct.
To take another example, though I didn’t particularly like the environment, as a pastor I often would attend cocktail parties at the Rotary Club. I found it a significant time to build relationships and carry on an effective ministry; in such settings unbelievers drop defenses and talk more openly.
Yet to be above reproach, I would begin the evening by getting a Coke in hand. Then I found it easier to visit freely without continually having to turn down offers of alcoholic beverages from servers. In such situations I don’t want to appear “holier than thou,” but I do want to be above reproach.
• Avoid certain activities altogether. I believe there are certain activities that Christian leaders simply cannot attend with integrity. I am not suggesting we establish legalistic standards, but I have seen many pastors and Christian leaders become involved in activities that are detrimental to them, their families, and the people they serve.
Take, for example, the area of entertainment, one of the greatest challenges for Christians in our society. I have announced publicly to my congregations that I wouldn’t attend r-rated movies. For that matter, there are many pg and pg-13 movies I will not attend. As a Christian leader, it’s one way I can model for others a distinctively Christian lifestyle.
As the Gallup poll reflects, there seems to be little difference in lifestyle or morality between those who have made a commitment to Jesus Christ and those who have not. That is tragic. The life of authentic Christian discipleship should be distinctively different. Jesus Christ holds us to a life of personal purity and holiness. Scripture tells us to flee lust and sexual immorality. And I recognize that our spiritual sensitivities can be subtly but profoundly affected by what we read, see, and experience.
I’m especially concerned about Christian young people, who, surrounded by unbelieving peers who guzzle pop entertainment bilge water, are growing up with lax standards. Teenagers often can’t understand why a well-meaning Christian adult distinguishes between one pg movie and another, between one R-rated movie and another. Lacking such discernment, kids are approving of things we never would.
Although I may miss some films with redeeming value, I’ve made this commitment for the sake of extra-mile pastoral integrity.
Handle Gifts and Honoraria with Care
In many secular organizations, an employee is expected to turn over to his employer any honoraria earned while on the job. Pastors, however, have traditionally accepted honoraria for weddings, funerals, and guest speaking. Some suggest that in this case, the world has loftier standards, and they question pastors’ integrity in taking honoraria.
However, there is a clear historical rationale for pastors doing so. Pastors have always been paid differently than have other vocations in our society. In the past, because clergy salaries were often modest, churches frequently supplemented pastors’ income by providing a parsonage. In addition, rural churches gave pastors vegetables, meat, and other food that came from their farms. It was within this context that ministers were paid honoraria at special functions such as weddings and funerals.
So given this historical context, it is certainly legitimate for churches to provide such honoraria. I have known pastors who have used honoraria for book accounts. I have one pastor friend who uses his honoraria for his family vacation.
Still, some ministers are not comfortable receiving honoraria. For example, my father, a Presbyterian minister in rural America, felt that weddings and funerals were merely an extension of his pastoral ministry. He rarely, if ever, accepted honoraria.
Although I don’t think refusing honoraria is a necessity, to go the extra mile of integrity, I have imitated my dad. But for all pastors, integrity requires that we follow the policy of our given church or ministry.
For example, when I was with the Billy Graham Association, all outside honoraria, by company policy, went to the association. So it depends on the compensation package as well as the church’s expectations and guidelines.
Personal gifts to the pastor or church leader also become integrity issues. Some people give gifts as a way of gaining leverage over the pastor and the church. Accepting gifts can unconsciously imply favoritism and affect how we preach the Word. The larger the gift, the more of an issue it becomes.
Even with these guidelines and doing all we can to live above reproach, I have found that pastors cannot control how others perceive their integrity quotient. People often project their own weaknesses on leaders. Frequently this is a painful experience for us. Fortunately, at other times the situation can be humorous.
For example, several years ago, a woman sent me a letter that read something like this: “Dear Dr. Cedar: I’ve never met you personally, but I’ve heard you preach, and I think I can recognize you. I was in a restaurant recently when a man walked in who looked like you. I wasn’t sure, so I thought I’d wait until the meal was served and, if you prayed, then I would know it was probably you.”
Then the whole tone of the letter changed: “You didn’t pray!” For the rest of the letter she assaulted me for not praying in public. She signed her name but gave no address or phone number. I was both upset and amused. Not only had I never been in that restaurant, I had never even heard of it!
Still, I have found that going the extra mile more often than not has enhanced not only the effectiveness of my ministry but also my life. I consider it a privilege to try to live above reproach. In fact, I believe God created us to live so, and I’m convinced that it is the most fulfilling kind of lifestyle.
Furthermore, I’ve found the best way for me to determine how I live is to aim to live as Jesus would live. The best questions we can ask ourselves are: What would Jesus do in this situation? What would Jesus say? How would Jesus respond?
In short, if we are to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and lead his people, we need to follow him as Lord. As the old hymn suggests, we need to “let the beauty of Jesus be seen” in us.
Copyright © 1991 by Christianity Today
