Jason’s mother and I watched as he tucked his hand into the nurse’s warm grasp and followed her back to the waiting room. The five-year-old youngster grinned broadly as his sparkling blue eyes glanced a hello to the pictures on the wall, and his unruly brown hair tossed to and fro when he spoke to the other nurses in the hall. He was happy and trusting. This was but a moment in a life that cried for our personal involvement, our sharing in the joy of that life. It was on this positive note that we turned to the consultation room for a discussion of Jason’s progress, problems, and future.
As we talked, I noted that Jason’s mother, normally as alive and happy as Jason himself, was more subdued and concerned. Her eyes were tired, a streak of grey touched her hair, and she seemed a bit preoccupied and somewhat anxious. As our conversation progressed, I understood why.
Her concern had been accentuated by the trip to my office. Accidentally bumping into an older lady in the elevator, Jason had begun to talk to her, only to be rewarded with a cold stare and the mumbled word “retarded.” Not understanding his rejection, Jason had begun to cry, only adding to his mother’s feelings of discomfort and anxiety.
Jason has Down’s syndrome, a disorder brought about by abnormal combinations of certain chromosomes. Among the characteristics of Down’s syndrome are such physical features as short stature, poor muscle tone, thickened neck tissues, and a slant to the eyes. Mentally, there is retardation of mild-to-moderate degree, and often speech difficulties are present. Socially, Down’s syndrome children have positive dispositions. Though often they may be a bit shy, they usually exhibit joy and pleasure. Jason’s characteristics were very similar, must certainly with respect to those of happiness and distinct pleasure in his environment and the people who shared it with him.
As we continued our conversation, Jason’s mother described how she had taken him to Sunday school. But after the third visit, Jason was invited not to return. She had wanted to protest, but instead, she and Jason sadly withdrew. Now their church involvement was sporadic, uncertain, and unfulfilling.
I have witnessed the same series of events in the past while dealing with other retarded children and their families. As I listened to this family’s rejection experience, I searched for an understanding of why it had happened. I also wondered whether this series of events was peculiar to Jason’s church, or whether this problem prevails in the Christian church in general.
Unfortunately, I quickly recalled others who had encountered similar experiences. There was Paul, who had a speech impediment and a mild paralysis; Andy, quiet, smiling, but who was prone to seizures; and there was boisterous, eager, clumsy Ralph. All of them were told their church had no program for the retarded and no plans to develop one. The church had become for them another instance of rejection.
It would be foolish nonchalantly to indict all churches for ignoring the needs of the handicapped, or the retarded. In my work with developmentally delayed children, I have seen and attended creative and innovative church school programs where there was an environment of love and acceptance. But in many churches, which find themselves faced with children like Jason for whom they have no program and whose very presence evokes strong feelings, rejection results.
Why is this so? What are the mechanisms, the subtleties, the feelings and attitudes that are occurring and interacting to produce such a negative reaction? More important, what do Christians need to do to reverse this?
Rejecting The Retarded Child
I believe two major areas of human concern form the basis for Jason’s experience. First, and most obvious, is fear. And it is fear of the retarded child that leads to the second, rejection, for what we do not understand, we fear, and what we fear, we reject.
Fear. There is little understanding of retarded persons—how they got to be the way they are, how they act or behave, how they feel, and how they are expected to respond. Because of this, all manner of myths result, and the fear born of these myths becomes widespread.
Fear and its myths tell us that retarded children have extraordinary strength and could therefore easily and severely harm other children. We are told retardates are degenerate and their behavior animalistic, creating appalling and damaging models for “normal” children, which results in a deterioration in their behavior. Then again, retarded children, especially males, are said to be “oversexed” and will molest other children unless constantly watched. Or vaguely, even more frightening, is the belief that what “they” have may be catching, so it is best to avoid close contact, just to be sure.
Looked at impersonally, such statements are easily seen as the myths they are. Yet, looked at through the eyes of personal understanding, they become larger than life and create a great deal of fear. In truth, the opposite of these myths is more likely true. Retarded persons not only are not extraordinarily strong, degenerate, oversexed, or contagious, but most have less muscle strength, exhibit vulnerable and frequently fearful temperaments, and possess normal sexual awareness. It bears repeating that it is only as a person is misunderstood that fear results and myths multiply. That is one reason for the rejection that occurs in our churches today.
Rejection. Secondly, and subtly—but of far more serious concern to Jason’s personhood and to the church’s integrity—is the act of rejection. It is based on the notion that because of his retardation, Jason could not comprehend “church,” and, therefore, could not benefit from it. That is a very dangerous attitude, yet it is one that pervades our society and characterizes many of the attitudes toward retarded individuals.
For centuries we have equated the value of a person with his or her ability to think or act. Mental gigantism continues to be respected to the point of reverence. Physical prowess, from the gladiators of Rome to Super Bowl heroes, evokes intense and almost heretical followings. Those who possess neither intellect nor brawn are often casually assigned to the trash heap of human rejects, occasionally to be rescued by some branch of our dispassionate bureaucracy, but all too often, quietly ignored. Often the church has done too little, quietly allowing the ignoring and rejecting to continue.
But the church has not only a commitment to accept, but the opportunity to provide a specific ministry. It is the ideal place to establish the fact that functional and intellectual abilities are not synonymous with acceptability as a person—nor, most certainly, acceptance into the kingdom of God.
Accepting The Retarded Child
The story of Jesus and the children (Mark 10:13–16) puts the challenge into context, and sharply highlights the church’s responsibility. Among the crowd gathered to see and hear Jesus were many children, dashing in and out, noisy, playful, dirty, runny-nosed, and poorly dressed. On that occasion, they collectively sought him out. Rebuffed by the disciples, the children, however, were drawn close by Jesus. Surely, there must have been among those children some who were lame, congenitally impaired, learning disabled, hyperactive, and retarded—representative, and perhaps deliberately so, of the heterogeneous group of adults they were destined to become. And it was these whom Jesus drew near and accepted, personally and spiritually, into his kingdom. The church has in that act its model and its calling to deal with retarded persons.
For people who would deal with retarded or otherwise handicapped individuals within the structure of the Christian church, a major action is to welcome those individuals as having already been accepted.
Transcending The Fear Barrier
There are many ways for a church to minister to the needs of retarded members. If enough volunteers can be found, a special education program might be started or special activities arranged, such as camping, recreation, and singing. One ministry that is frequently neglected is pastoral counseling with retarded children, their parents, and other children in the family who are not retarded.
But beyond all of these services is an underlying need to deal creatively with those myths that cause church members to fear the retarded. It is the first thing to do in ministering to these children.
The first step toward dispelling the myths is to provide training for pastors, teachers, and their assistants. Usually it is possible for qualified church members to make use of local resources to teach about retardation: its causes, individual capabilities, temperamental differences, physical appearances, and medical needs. In addition, they may teach how to deal effectively with behavioral differences. Trained leaders, who have been helped to breach the barrier of fear, are then in a position to become effective advocates for retarded citizens in their churches and in the total community.
Once the fear and misunderstanding are minimized, a level of interaction begins to emerge that leads to ministry. This is described graphically and poignantly in The Acorn People, a book about retarded and handicapped children who have a very special camp experience. As the author encounters, then conquers, his fear, he turns his bent for rejection into acceptance, and he experiences a depth of human fellowship that comes when the soul is free to love and care.
I believe a quantum leap is made at that point, and that it leads to the focus of ministry. It is there the words of doctrine analogous to “normal” understanding of our faith and, hence, our acceptance of it, become embodied with the love and concern that make that doctrine intuitively desired and warmly accepted without having to be intellectualized. It reduces to very simple terms the way ministry to retarded citizens is to be accomplished by any church. It is not done through elaborate programming, expensive materials, special environments, or professionally trained workers, although all these are noteworthy. It is realized through the act of caring for and about a person as he or she is. Physical appearance, mental functioning, and productive capacity are by passed by attitudes that encourage and allow the well of feelings that are a part of every human to spring forth in mutual response.
Replacing fear with understanding and rejection with love, the present-day disciple of Christ’s crowd is in a position to end the history-old stance of rebuff, and to assure those with special needs that their acceptance is indeed real.
Establishing A Program For The Retarded
1. Awareness. Study the community’s need for a program.
2. Commitment. Decide the church should become involved.
3. Education. Hold an “attitude-changing” seminar or workshop to allow church members to express fears and concerns.
Use professional resources within the community to teach physical and behavioral characteristics of retarded children.
4. Invitation. Invite parents of retarded children to a Sunday school meeting or church supper to share insights and needs, as well as hopes.
5. Classroom space. Designate a classroom area that is as barrier-free as possible.
6. Materials. Select, catalogue, and develop teaching materials (see resources listed).
7. Classes. Begin classes with an “open house,” if possible, to emphasize the priority the church is giving to this ministry.
8. Follow-up. Hold scheduled meetings for church staff, teachers, and parents to discuss class progress, problems, goals, and special projects.
Resources
Retarded Children Are People, by E. Charles Bauer (Bruce Publishing Co., Milwaukee, 1964).
The Acorn People, by Ron Jones (Bantam Books, Des Plaines, Ill., 1977).
The Mentally Retarded Child, by Abraham Levinson (John Day Co., New York, 1965).
David, by Nancy Roberts (John Knox Press, Va., 1968).
You and Your Retarded Child, by Nancy Roberts (Concordia, St. Louis, 1974).
New Directions for Parents of Persons Who Are Retarded, by Robert Perske (Abingdon, Nashville, 1978).
The following materials may be obtained from the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, 500 N. Broadway, St. Louis, Missouri 63102: “Providing a Program of Christian Education for the Mentally Retarded” (BPE), Bulletin #820 (guide); “Church Schools—Series I, Sets 2–8 (lessons); Christian Education of the Mentally Retarded (filmstrip).
