How do you turn a visitor into a regular–especially in a church where visitors can easily exit unnoticed?
The Wenatchee (Washington) Free Methodist Church holds a Newcomer’s Coffee. The class, designed to give visitors a one-hour introduction to the church, is held during the Sunday school hour in a room just off the foyer.
It creates a warm climate for new people to see a short media presentation, tour the facilities, and ask honest questions about anything from youth programs to church doctrine.
The number of newcomers who attend each week varies: one to three families. Some Sundays nobody shows up.
These people hear about the class from a variety of sources: the worship announcements, the church bulletin, other church members.
Each Sunday my husband and I, wearing name tags, greet the guests, exchange names, and offer coffee, juice, and homemade cookies or quick breads. We try to put the newcomers at ease by asking non-threatening questions: Are you new to this area? How did you learn about our church? Do you have family around here? (For the divorced or single, that inquiry is less-threatening than being asked if they’re married.) We usually don’t ask about their work, since that can be awkward for the unemployed.
Those new to our area we hand a packet called Insider’s Hints, which lists the town’s bargain secrets–from day-old bread stores to thrift specialties, and low- or no-cost outings for children. This is a wonderful ice-breaker even though it has nothing to do with church life.
Everyone receives pamphlets giving more detail on individual ministries and church doctrine.
Then we show a fast-paced, 15-minute video covering our church’s denominational and local history, staff, Christian education programs, and special ministries. The video includes portraits of our pastors and their wives, highlighting their current ministry specialties. Other photos point out volunteers such as one woman who cares for the church’s flower beds and makes floral arrangements, and another who baby-sits for the young mothers’ Bible study.
One man, recently divorced, wanted to join our divorce recovery class after seeing the video. A single mother got excited about joining a support group.
Another couple, who came with the wife’s elderly mother, were immediately interested in our senior citizen activities.
After the video, we tour the church. We pass out a map showing entries, restrooms, visitor and handicapped parking, and the location of offices and classrooms.
As we return to the coffee room, some people are ready to leave and others have more questions. We hand them a visitor information card. By this time, most people trust us enough to fill it out.
Later, I look at the cards and add any information I have gleaned from my conversations that would aid the follow-up team that calls on newcomers.
From time to time the congregation hears the encouraging results of the newcomers’ programs as pastors ask new Christians to tell their stories.
One couple told how they attended the church because they knew people already there. A stop at the newcomer’s class encouraged them to bring the husband’s elderly mother. When the follow-up team called on her, the mother became a Christian.
Through tears, she told them, “You are an answer to prayer. I sat on my bed every night and ask God’s forgiveness and prayed that somebody would come to my house and explain to me what I still needed to do.”
One single woman, having recently moved into the state, visited the newcomer’s coffee on her first Sunday in town. Learning her occupation, I grabbed the elbow of a member who had the same line of work. The newcomer joined the choir and wrote later, “Thanks for making me feel welcome and all the contacts to make me feel a part of the fellowship from the very start.”
BIOGRAPHY FOR THE BEREAVED
Adding life and hope to a funeral service is a challenge. Greg Asimakoupoulos, pastor of Crossroads Covenant Church in Concord, California, meets that challenge by using the art of storytelling. He prepares customized eulogies by weaving together historical events and the life stories of the deceased, creating a mini-biography.
For example, instead of simply stating that Mabel was born on October 29, 1930, he begins, “It was the 29th of October in the dark year after the stock market crashed. But a shaft of sunlight entered the world of a young Welsh immigrant and his wife that day when their daughter, Mabel was born.”
For a young military officer born in the fall of 1960, the eulogy began, “When most Americans were preoccupied with the Nixon-Kennedy debates, biologist Dick Johnson and his wife Sandy were engrossed in the birth and early development of their baby boy.”
“A little research in the local library,” says Asimakoupoulos, “allows me to set the birth of the person into a historical context that help us appreciate their unique place among humankind.”
Another personal touch can be added by looking up the person’s name in a name book. Often qualities of the person can be tied to what their name means. For instance, the young military officer’s name was Carl, meaning “farmer.” While he was not a farmer, he was in a profession that required him to be “in the field.”
As the eulogy moves through various stages, milestones, and accomplishments of the person’s life, it is scripted as a storyline, building one event upon another. Even humor can fit into this format, bringing a burst of laughter, relief, and hope.
Two essentials are necessary:
First, obtain sufficient bits and pieces of the life story from members of the family.
“I generally request such tidbits,” says Askimakoupoulos, “as birthdate, hometown, parents’ names, childhood interests, hobbies, education, business pursuits, details of courtship, favorite sayings, and philosophy of life. It is always better to have too much than not enough.”
Second, allow sufficient time to choose the details you want to use and actually write the story.
Asimakoupoulos remarks, “Every person, no matter how renowned or reclusive, deserves to have his story told at least once. It doesn’t take a master storyteller to craft that story if sufficient details are at hand.
“Customizing the eulogy is a simple way to add life to death. It honors the deceased and brings encouragement to the bereaved.”
Pastor Clay Bowlin of Peabody (Kansas) Bible Church has found a transcript or a tape recording of the funeral service is comforting to family members. He always makes ten copies available to the nearest family member. Often the copies are given to family members who could not attend the service.
Bowlin also marks the date of death on a calendar, and in each succeeding year, he sends a card of encouragement to the nearest family member. If the family is a part of his current congregation, he makes a visit on that anniversary.
“There is bonding in sharing a deep hurt together,” says Bowlin. “These two simple gestures show that the pastor cares for their needs and shares their hurt with them.”
QUESTIONS ANONYMOUS
“Communication is at best a shaky art,” says Neil Wyrick. Wondering how well his sermons were understood by his congregation and what questions they might have, Wyrick, now retired and living in Miami, Florida, developed two approaches.
Since many people are too embarrassed to verbalize questions, he inserted a blank sheet of paper into the Sunday bulletin every five or six months. Then, during the service, he asked everyone to write down theological or biblical questions and hand them in.
“No one is to sign their question,” says Wyrick, “and I ask everyone to write something on the paper even if only to say they have no question. That way the person with a real question won’t feel self-conscious when writing.”
Incoming questions covered a broad spectrum from asking for a definition of the word exegesis to a request for an explanation of vicarious suffering. By the following Sunday, the church prints all questions and answers for distribution with the bulletins. Wyrick includes resources for in-depth study.
Another method Wyrick used for gauging communication: an early, streamlined, one-hour service on Sunday morning. The service had only one hymn and no choir. Instead, the sermon time was extended. After the sermon, the congregation would write down questions and comments. Ushers gathered the questions and delivered them to Wyrick, who would look through them and immediately answer the best questions.
Whatever puzzled, pleased, or perplexed the congregation was reflected in the notes.
“What I believed to be crystal clear,” says Wyrick, “often turned out to be fuzzy to my listeners. What I thought needed no further explanation was sometimes misunderstood.”
The congregation at the next service often benefited from the give and take of the earlier service. Not everyone wants to attend a no-frills service, but for those who enjoy dialogue, it gives that opportunity. It also lets a pastor discover where communication needs to improve.
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Copyright (c) 1994 Christianity Today, Inc./LEADERSHIP Journal
Copyright © 1994 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
