One hardly expects to find robbers in the church. But they’re there. They don’t carry guns, but they’re known to wear masks. They are the joy thieves.
Joy thieves appear in different forms but have this in common: They have little fun in life and try to make sure no one else has more. The three most common varieties are the pouter, the more-spiritual-than-thou, and the I-expected-more-of-you.
The pouter
The pouter never confronts, only pouts. We’re not aware anything is amiss until suddenly the atmosphere cools. What’s wrong? We haven’t a clue.
Often the cause is feeling neglected. With the growth of the congregation I serve have come adjustments of my weekly schedule. Recently, I noticed a layman was cool and seemed to be avoiding me. Maybe he’s just passing through a rough period, I thought. But when the pouting continued for weeks, I asked, “Have I done something to offend you? Is there something wrong between us?”
“Well, not really, but you know we haven’t spent much time together like we used to,” he said. Before I could apologize and explain, he did. “I know you’re busy and you don’t have the time you used to have. I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself.”
“Why didn’t you take the initiative to talk to me?” I asked. “You know I don’t want anything to come between us. I’ve initiated the last three times we’ve been together. Give me a call, and lunch is on me.” We haven’t had lunch yet, but the pouting has ceased. Peace was restored.
The more-spiritual-than-thou
The more-spiritual-than-thou thief sees faith and fun as incompatible. Should the pastor have fun, this thief wishes the pastor would “take the calling more seriously.”
I once challenged our minister of music: “If you have a hundred voices in the choir by Thanksgiving, I’ll take you to lunch at the restaurant of your choice.” He agreed, and the “wager” was on. The mistake was in not keeping it a secret.
Mr. More-Spiritual-Than-Thou found out and protested: “Such frivolity! Spiritual people don’t make wagers. Sinners do that at racetracks. The pastor’s interested only in numbers, anyway.”
So we called off the deal. More than a hundred singers were in the choir by Thanksgiving, but our minister of music had to buy his own lunch.
The I-expect-more-of-you
This joy bandit may or may not be involved in the church, but let a need arise in his life, and he expects your undivided attention.
For me, he’s embodied by one man who attends our church when there isn’t something more important vying for his time-like sleep. Recently, he and his wife missed for over two months because they were tired and had to sleep in on Sunday mornings.
He does find time, however, to be the church’s chief critic. Somehow we never do things quite well enough to suit him.
But for his needs, he expects immediate service with a money-back guarantee. When his daughter got into trouble, it was my responsibility instead of his. When his son got married, other events on the church calendar didn’t count.
What to do?
The normal reaction to thieves is to put them behind bars. But the good pastor wants no revenge. No, we’d rather see the redemption of a relationship, making it beneficial to the kingdom.
I try to remember that God values every soul-yes, even joy thieves. Mr. Pouter and Mr. More-Spiritual-Than-Thou do fulfill their responsibilities within the church. They just have problems relating to pastors. Mr. I-Expect-More-of-You has children who are a credit to him. I marvel at the potential wrapped up in those lives!
So how can we respond to joy bandits? Hebrews 13:17 addresses them: “Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.”
If the Bible says church leaders should enjoy their work, why allow joy thieves to pilfer?
Our biggest mistake is to pamper them, for then we’ll be robbed perpetually. Sometimes simply ignoring their thievery ultimately accomplishes our goal. Other times, confronting, though difficult, is the greater expression of love.
Maybe the secret is to legalize Christian joy-make it readily available in the congregation-so joy thieves don’t have to revert to crime to acquire it.
-Charles Lake
Community Church of Greenwood
Greenwood, Indiana
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