Another Chance, by Dean Merrill (Zondervan, 161 pp., $4.95), and How to Know When You’ve Got It Made, by Ken Chafin (Word, 168 pp., $8.95), are reviewed by Larry E. Neagle, a free-lance writer living in Fort Worth, Texas.
Another Chance is a heavyweight. It is one of those rare books that leaves one feeling healed and whole at its end. Merrill, until recently executive editor of curriculum resources at David C. Cook Publishing Company, subtitled his book “How God Overrides Our Big Mistakes.” That is indeed what he demonstrates, by affirming a faith in God, who is neither surprised nor outmaneuvered by our sin.
Merrill honestly confronts the questions raised by the feelings of guilt and despair that overwhelm us after a “big mistake.” He shows that in life’s biggest fiascos God does not turn his back on us and say, in effect, “That does it. I’m through with you!” Rather, God is—hope beyond hope—a God of the second chance. He is a God who does not condemn us from that point on to second best, but a God for whom forgiveness is total and restoration is complete. Merrill has written a book full of insight and healing; it is an invaluable counseling aid. Don’t be deceived though, Another Chance is not just for those who have made big mistakes. It is for all who struggle.
Though not as upbeat as Another Chance, Chafin’s book is thoughtful, probing, and constructive. But be warned about the title: How to Know When You’ve Got It Made is not a “how to” book. Rather, it is a contemplative study of success “not defined in terms of material possessions accumulated, but in the ability to survive as a spiritual being in a materialistic society.”
Chafin draws from his own life and the lives of those he knows, as well as from the Bible, opening avenues of understanding the book might otherwise have missed. His insight, particularly in the chapters concerned with being real, managing fears, and not wasting one’s troubles, are deep and effective. How to Know When You’ve Got It Made is a valuable book from one pilgrim to another.
A Tenable Alternative To The Video Lifestyle
Breaking the TV Habit, by Joan Anderson Wilkins (Scribner’s, $9.95), is reviewed by Reed Jolley, pastor, Santa Barbara Community Church, Santa Barbara, California.
Roughly 30 years ago a technological device was developed that would produce “television” in one’s own home. The success and proliferation of this medium has far exceeded even the most propitious expectations. Ninety-eight percent of American households have television sets (fewer homes have toilets). These little boxes command more time in our lives than any other activity except work and sleep. During the 2,300 hours of TV we watch yearly, each of us will witness, on the average, eight major acts of violence per hour. By the time our sons or daughters are 14 years old, they will have observed 11,000 murders on the screen. Before entering college, an American will ingest 350,000 commercials.
In her new book Breaking the TV Habit, Joan Wilkins convincingly describes the pernicious effects of television while offering a plausible, step-by-step remedy for the indulgent. The author does not argue for complete abstinence from TV; television may have a valid place in our lives. Yet Wilkins warns that unscrupulous use of TV will diminish our verbal skills, stifle creativity, and endanger family interaction.
The volume was written for anyone who watches TV with regularlity. The author gives special attention, however, to the role television plays in the lives of children. By the time a child begins kindergarten he or she has watched five to eight thousand hours of television. Indeed, throughout a child’s school years, more hours are spent with the television than in the classroom.
After persuading the reader of the nefarious attributes of this medium, Wilkins presents a four-week program to curtail viewing time.
The first step is to keep a detailed record of all television watched. Count the number of hours your set is on; the number of commercials in any one given hour; the violent acts, and so on. “Most families are utterly amazed at their television consumption,” Wilkins writes.
During week two, the viewer should be intentional about which shows will be watched. In this period the addict should develop a “critical eye” that evaluates what is being presented.
Week three is the time to cut back viewing. The author suggests no more than one hour of TV each evening, and encourages families to make this a group activity with time for evaluation after the program.
The fourth and final stage is to turn off the television set and allow it to collect dust in some distant corner of the home.
Wilkins’s indictment of television is not original in its findings, unique in its critique, or exhaustive in its presentation. However, the author presents a fresh and readable synthesis of the research done by others on the effect television has had on our lives. Christians who strive with Paul to take “every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5) will undoubtedly reconsider their meditation upon “Dallas” or “As the World Turns” after reading this study. The work is of particular value to parents who wonder what kind of guidance they should give to their children’s viewing habits. Along with Wilkins’s compelling critique comes a tenable alternative to the video lifestyle we have gradually adopted.
Knowing God’S Will
Decision Making and the Will of God, by Garry Friesen and J. Robin Maxson (Multonmah, 1981, 320 pp., $10.95), is reviewed by G. Van Campbell, pastor, Grace Bible Church, Homer, Louisiana.
If you have struggled with decision making, with distinguishing the Holy Spirit’s leading from your feelings, with discerning God’s guidance in major decisions, or with heeding God’s “call” for ministry or vocation (when other individuals had “clear-cut guidance”), then this book is worthy of your consideration.
Garry Friesen (chairman of Multnomah School of the Bible’s Bible department) and J. Robin Maxson (pastor of The Klamath Evangelical Free Church in Klamath Falls, Oreg.) have written, according to the book’s subtitle, “A Biblical Alternative to the Traditional View” concerning decision making and the will of God. The book’s thesis is that Christians make decisions based on God’s Word and wisdom (“spiritual expediency”), not special divine guidance.
To defend this view, the authors have structured their book in four parts. Part I employs a fictional seminar to set forth the traditional view of finding God’s will. Parts II and III evaluate the traditional view’s concept of God’s will (chap. 5), its scriptural support (chap. 6), its application (chaps. 7, 8), and present an alternative view (the “way of wisdom”). Part IV applies this “way of wisdom” to specific important decisions: singleness and marriage; choosing a vocation (including “calls”); giving, and so on.
The authors argue that we are not to seek God’s individual will for our decisions since biblically God’s “will” means his sovereign will or his moral will (biblical commands). It rarely, if ever, means his plan for the details of our lives (though they seem to allow that such a plan may exist [p. 109], a position the reviewer feels is not inconsistent with the book’s thrust). Biblical teaching and examples are used to demonstrate that any decision made wisely (discussed in some detail) within God’s moral will is pleasing to God. “Fleeces,” open doors, circumstances, and faith are also discussed.
The writing has an engaging style. The authors’ handling of the traditional view is temperate, and their conclusions are compelling. The book is highly recommended as the best available treatment of this topic.
Fresh Insights In Family Counseling
Family Therapy in Pastoral Ministry, by J. C. Wynn (Harper & Row, 224 pp., $12.50), is reviewed by Charles Cerling, Jr., pastor of First Baptist Church, Tawas City, Michigan.
Family therapy. What does that term bring to your mind? To most people it simply means helping a family deal with its problems. However, over the past few years, “family therapy” has developed into a technical term for therapy based on systems theory. Family therapy is distinguished from other forms of therapy by its assumption that most counseling problems are relationship problems, not personal problems. The object of therapy then is the family relationship rather than any single member of the family. Little attention is given to unconscious or intrapsychic mechanisms. When the family functions effectively, it is assumed that many personal problems will disappear because their source is family relationships.
Family therapy has developed over the past 40 years, but it has come into prominence only in the last decade. It developed out of a growing frustration with the results of individual therapy. In particular, family therapists were frustrated by the way families subverted their work as soon as a patient went home from therapy. Slowly, some therapists came to the conclusion that only when the whole family was treated could their work be effective. It was just a short step from this to the assumption that the family itself, not the person, is the real patient. Since then family therapists have developed a core of working hypotheses about families.
Central to working with families is the assumption that every family is working hard at maintaining stability in the face of internal and external pressures. It may be using dysfunctional methods, but it is trying. The therapist then helps the family select more effective methods from among the many ways of maintaining balance. However, it is the family, not the therapist, that selects and has responsibility for carrying out change.
A common means that dysfunctional families use to maintain stability is the selection, usually unconsciously, of one family member to be the “identified patient,” the one who will act out the family’s problems. Much past counseling sought to help the identified patient without realizing the function he fulfilled in the family. As a result, counseling failed because the family immediately forced him back into the role of identified patient. In those instances where counseling succeeded, the family forced another member to assume that role because it needed someone to be an outlet for its problems. This simply created another problem.
Keeping all of this going is the double bind. In a double bind, communication is given on two levels. The patient, for example, is encouraged to break free from his problem, but at the same time is told what will happen if he does. Double binds are a part of all family life, but in the dysfunctional family they are more frequent and create greater problems.
J. C. Wynn, director of the graduate study program in family ministries at Colgate Rochester Divinity School, gives us a book that introduces family therapy to the pastor in an understandable form. His summary chapter on family therapy is the clearest discussion of this subject I know about. At the same time, he introduces about a dozen key leaders (Satir, Haley, Minuchin, etc.) in the field of family therapy, giving a very brief overview of their theories while suggesting how a pastor can use their contributions. In doing so, he tells the reader where to go if he wants to learn more about family therapy.
Other chapters deal with how to conduct an interview from the perspective of family therapy, problems often raised with family therapy, and the importance of theology in the work of therapy. Wynn also has an excellent bibliography and an appendix of resources for family therapists.
If you do counseling and have been out of school more than a few years, you need to read this book. It opens the door to a whole new field of counseling, a field that is rapidly growing and has much to offer the Christian pastor and counselor.
