Conflict Ministry in the Church
by Larry McSwain and William C. Treadwell, Jr. Broadman Press, $6.95
Reviewed by Ray Wm. Smith, pastor Grace Presbyterian Church San Antonio, Tex.
Holy Week, the endurance test from Palm Sunday until Easter, had finally passed. As it does for church leaders everywhere, the next day offered fatigue, let-down, and reflection. Fortunately for me, I picked up this book and read on the jacket: “This is a book to be read on those ‘dark’ Mondays when you feel like changing churches, resigning your Sunday school class, or leaving the pastoral ministry. We have written this guide to help you analyze the conflicts, disagreements, and tensions which arise in all churches. We will offer only one rule to you, our reader, ‘Never resign on Monday!’ Read this book instead.”
We need to be aware of resources that will help us as church leaders in resolving conflict. The authors suggest using productive forms of conflict management, diffusing problems with clear explanations and referrals, exploring conflict situations openly, leading those in conflict toward a decision.
A problem-solving strategy should include collecting needed facts, feelings, and opinions; conceptualizing available options and prioritizing them; depersonalizing the options to limit rejecting individuals; and compromising so a consensus emerges.
McSwain and Treadwell theorize that persons experiencing stress are at the root of conflict situations. Clues for identifying persons living with unconquered stress are expressions of anger, hostility, frustration, and hurt. These people need pastoral care, not disassociation due to the threats of conflict. Churches should take the initiative to respond to stressed persons; a congregation can help its members live abundantly by teaching them how to manage conflict and stress.
The book urges pastors to become “referees” in resolving conflict. Stand outside the conflict, observe the events, ensure that participants follow rules of fairness, and work toward the satisfying results of Christian reconciliation. To serve as a referee, five guidelines are stated: 1) A referee will not be immobilized by taking conflict personally; 2) Ambiguity, ambivalence and frustration will be tolerated; 3) Confidence in conflict management will be demonstrated; 4) Sides will not be taken nor will any solution be advocated; 5) The referee will be credible to all sides.
A referee in church conflicts hopes to produce growth as people identify and attempt to understand their differences, and learn to find mutually acceptable options for resolving those differences. The growth of persons in conflict comes from learning to express feelings, dissatisfactions, and concerns as well as from finding a willingness to be heard and nurtured by other growing persons.
In the ministry of Jesus, silence was rarely used as a workable strategy for confronting conflict. Peace, forgiveness, wholeness, repentance, judgment, and grace were pronounced by word and deed. We need to become active peacemakers in a world of conflict. Silence may be more comfortable in the face of injustice and wrong, but if they win, there will be no resolution. When God’s rule and reign become complete, justice and righteousness will be established eternally. “It is the hope of that promise which gives the church boldness to act as a minister amid conflict in the community.”
It is also the hope that saves Monday mornings from the post-conflict let-down. Next Monday morning, reflect on serving as a referee for the church.
The Ministry of Music in the Church
by Vic Delamont Moody Press, $5.95
Reviewed by John M. Chilson Choir director, St. Matthews United Church of Christ, Wheaton, Ill.
This is a handbook for everyone involved in any way with the music program of the church; a book of checklists, concepts, and background material for what should be happening musically in church.
Delamont believes that “Music, through the ministry of the Holy Spirit, has the intrinsic ability to lead people in worship, to attract people to Christ, and to serve admirably as a vehicle for learning about the Christian life.” With this as a foundation, the author goes on to discuss the abilities, talents, and responsibilities required of those involved in the music program .
One chapter contains lists of qualifications for various positions in the music program: the minister of music, the accompanists, the directors, and the music committee members. For example, one of the qualities of the minister of music should be “an openness to new ideas and music.” Delamont quotes another author: “If you do not remain open to new ideas and different kinds of music, your congregation will very quietly cease to listen to you; they already know what they will hear.”
Another chapter deserves special note. It contains a discussion on choosing music appropriate for worship. Besides the obvious questions of whether or not the choir can sing it and its compatibility with the minister’s sermon for Sunday, the author covers such points as doctrine, attitudes, simplicity, and quality. The reason behind this is summed up in the author’s statement: “Care must be taken [in choosing music], because singing is teaching.” This is a good reminder for all of us who have been caught up in the rush to prepare an anthem for Sunday.
“Music must be used with discretion,” he continues. “It should guide, convict, encourage, comfort, exhort, challenge, teach, or do whatever other ministry is intended for it, but it must never coerce or capitalize on the emotional impact to the end in which it becomes a manipulative tool. People should be moved to God through content, not through an emotional pitch.”
A practical chapter is on rehearsals. The author walks the reader through the steps of reaching a decision on where, when, and how long to rehearse. Some basic notes on rehearsal procedure, teaching hints, and potential problem areas and what to do about them round out the discussion. One valuable point covered planning devotional time, which is often overlooked by many choir directors. “The director should work at promoting and developing proper spiritual and musical attitudes. This can largely be done through the opening time of devotions. “
The final chapter is an excellent discussion on the meaning of worship and the place music has in it. Unfortunately, in many churches worship services just happen. Occasionally, that creates a lovely, unified, spontaneous service. Usually it does not. The chapter also includes a plea for the evaluation of each service. “As stewards of the resources of Christ and of his church, Christians had better be sure that there is both reason for and value in everything they do.”
A bibliography is given, arranged by books, publications, and article subjects. This book gives helpful concepts, although small churches may find them beyond their resources.
Training Your Children to Handle Money
by Malcolm MacGregor Bethany Fellowship, $3.95
Reviewed by H. Benton Lutz Pastor, St. Stephen Lutheran Church Williamsburg, Vir.
Have you ever thought about having your teen-ager manage the family budget for a period of time? Malcolm MacGregor has. Each of his children, when entering high school, was given the responsibility of writing all the family checks during one bill-paying period. The results were obvious: “I was thrilled one day to hear our oldest son reply to a sibling’s request to eat out, ‘Are you kidding? With all the money we just spent on our vacation, we’d almost need to float a loan for entertainment this month.’ “
MacGregor, however, doesn’t advocate dropping such responsibility on a teen-ager without some training. It should start when he’s a preschooler who gets an allowance based on responsibilities and behavior.
MacGregor illustrates this with an exercise recommended by James Dobson, who identifies fourteen things a preschooler should do daily. Fourteen pennies are given for every task done properly. From that allowance, the preschooler tithes to the church, saves for future needs (Christmas gifts), and has money for daily needs.
MacGregor’s most basic point is that “you are training your child in money matters. Your child is learning very subtly how to manage his money and make choices by observing the ways you manage your money and make your choices.”
What are his guidelines for training children in money management? First, never say, “We can’t afford it.” He says, “If ‘can’t afford’ is the only reason you are saying no to a child’s request, then I believe you ought to find a way to afford it. That doesn’t mean you’re going out to buy everything your child wants. It just means you’re going to work with him to reach his goal.” Allow the child the opportunity to plan and have the satisfaction of accomplishment.
Second, avoid using money as a love substitute. MacGregor uses himself as an example. He says he sits down on a regular basis with his children and asks them how he’s doing as their father, whether he’s giving them enough time, and whether he’s becoming distant. He gives each of his children a cassette tape when they become thirteen, containing a personal message, part of which talks about his tendency of getting too involved in things other than his family.
The third guideline is to never use the word “no” when talking with children about money. “When I take that word out of my vocabulary, I’ve forced myself to listen to what my kids say to me. But I’m not stuck with saving yes to everything they ask; I just try not to say no.”
On the question of giving an allowance he recommends the allowance/ earnings system. This system provides a fixed amount that is given consistently, plus a variable amount that is tied to responsibilities. This is preferable to the inconsistent “handout,” or the “fixed amount with no responsibilities,” or the “job-rate system,” since the goal of an allowance is to teach financial management and responsibility.
How much money should be given? The amount will vary with the age and readiness of the child, but the money should be more than just enough to cover his needs. It should include some discretionary income that must be managed.
Should you expect reports on how the allowance is used? “Absolutely!” says MacGregor. “You will need to work with your child regularly, helping him to keep accurate records, and making sure that the goals he sets are reasonable and attainable.”
But an allowance is by no means the only way children should be able to have money; they should work. MacGregor is realistic, however, and wants his readers to understand that a child’s job must also be a family commitment. He puts the greatest emphasis on self-employment opportunities for children, because these teach self-motivation and self-management. He even recommends jobs for preschoolers.
If you’re at a loss for job ideas for your children, take heart. The book gives a thorough list of jobs, and many are MacGregor-family tested. They are divided into age sophistication: preschooler, first grade to seventh grade, junior high to college.
MacGregor points out that two-thirds of all marriage problems can be traced to moneymanagement difficulties. He quotes George Fooshee as saying, “Not a single couple has ever told me, ‘Well, we did it; by our deliberate overspending, we’ve reached our three-year goal of owing $10,000. Our frequent arguments over money and the financial pressures we feel are just what we planned. The thrill of paying off these debts is the highlight of our marriage.’ “
On credit cards for teens he says emphatically, “Don’t!” For that matter he recommends that adults do without them also. He dispels the myths we have about “plastic money” and how we cannot live without it.
In his chapter, “In Case Your Child Isn’t Perfect,” he covers such potential problems as losing, hoarding, overspending, stealing, and borrowing money.
On the subject of stealing, MacGregor disarms us from the outset. “Stealing seems to be an almost normal process of growing up; you will find that most children do it at least once.” Parents, don’t panic. Use the opportunity to explore your child’s needs emotionally and monetarily.
MacGregor covers his subject with a clear Christian perspective sprinkled with humor, and is often the recipient of his own jabs. Throughout, he points children to financial commitment to the church. This would be a fine book for a group of parents to discuss .
Church School Teaching Can Be Fun!
by Carol Schmelzel Seabury Press, $6.95
Reviewed by Patsie S. Moore Director of Christian education First Christian Church Guymon, Okla.
“Learning about religion in church school can be an exciting experience. Whether students find it exciting or dull depends a lot on you-their teacher or leader.”
With this direct opening statement, Schmelzel proceeds with seven chapters of very practical, proven information to make church school classes more interesting for students and teachers. This book would work well as a supplementary resource to the curriculum of any publishing house, because there is no denominational stance evident.
The author states that “the methods are especially suitable for grades four, five, and six, but can be adapted for other age groups,” and this adaptability factor is very evident. Directors of Christian education are always looking for solid resources with the type of flexibility this book has for use in teacher training.
Each chapter explains the use of a particular teaching technique that can enhance Christian education in a classroom setting. The suggested approaches could function equally well in an open classroom setting, a learning-center-oriented setting, or with more conventional teaching techniques.
Viewing the book from the vantage point of a church school teacher, it provides many options to enhance teaching. When I sit down to prepare a lesson plan, I know my choice of methods in planning that session will be governed by three things: the curriculum, my imagination, and the needs of my class.
To the extent I am governed by the curriculum, it’s helpful to encounter a book that provides activities that can expand the topic suggested. For instance, Christian symbolism is evident in most Sunday school curriculum materials. The chapter entitled
“Teaching with Games” presents an excellent and easy board game to make on Christian symbols, as well as several illustrations of these symbols and their meanings. The objective is to make Christian symbols understandable and interesting for children.
We all wish we had time to be more imaginative in our teaching approaches, and Schmelzel has given us some quick and easy suggestions. As an example, if you have only five minutes left before your class ends, and you have a number of restless children, write an incomplete sentence or a “because” statement on the board: “I’m glad I’m a Christian because … ” or, “The best thing about a friend is. … “
Very often I find a session in my curriculum material that needs an added touch to tailor it more to my students. In the chapter “Teach with Puzzles,” this comment is made: Puzzles are not uncommon in Sunday school curriculum materials; but why not make and duplicate your own crossword puzzles, which can be geared to the special needs and interests of your students? Design these puzzles to fit the reading and spelling level of your students. Also try this: teach your students to make their own crossword puzzles. Keep plenty of quadrille paper on hand and let them have at it! If the squares of quadrille paper are too small for some of your students, make a master copy of a sheet with larger squares and run off copies. Ideas are given to help design word search puzzles and crossword puzzles, and ways are suggested for using them. Jigsaw puzzles, scramble puzzles, code and picture puzzles, and mirror messages are other examples that are given to add interest to classwork.
Schmelzel has experienced what she writes about, and she shares both her successes and failures to develop insights on the part of the reader. A. book of this nature can be a very helpful aid to put into the hands of all the teachers in a Sunday school program.
In another chapter, Schmelzel describes role play in enthusiastic terms, but also says it takes know-how and practice to use it effectively-a wise caution. She gives a concise and knowledgeable evaluation of role play and how it can effectively be used in the church school classroom.
Another plus in this book is a section on unexpected supplements to classroom teaching, such as teaching with library activities, with tape recorders, and with congregation and community resources.
In the chapter on congregation and community resources, she says, “At first you may not be able to think of a single soul to speak to your class, or one place you could possibly go on a field trip other than the old folks’ home, and you’ve been there-twice.” She then suggests a number of ways to go about using community and congregational resources for obtaining first-hand knowledge from live people and real places.
If you are a pastor of a single staff church, a minister or director of Christian education, or part of a teaching staff for church school, this is an excellent tool.
Insights are great, and the theories are good, but the most useful tool is the clear, precise explanation of how to get the job done. This book will put some creativity in your Sunday school materials.
Copyright © 1981 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
