The following question, from the pastor of a small urban church, was printed in LEADERSHIP’S Winter 1981 issue, and reactions from our readers were solicited. This response is based on their observations.
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Q
Too often it seems that seminary graduates who have a call into pastoral ministry face three options (regardless of their abilities): 1) Youth ministry in a large church (multiple-staff), 2) Christian education work in a medium-sized congregation (two on the staff), and 3) Pastoring a small church. Available small churches seem to be the undesirable ones-those in the middle of nowhere, or declining urban churches.
Feeling a call as pastor/teacher, I came to a run-down urban church-it appeared to be the best of my options. After two years, I think I’ve done everything well, but I feel awful that I do not have love for the congregation or the community. This is only a job to me-and a frustrating one at that. The neighborhood has a high crime rate; I fear for my family’s safety and I resent the broken church windows. The congregation is elderly and poorly educated. They are spiritual spectators set in their ways. And here am I-young, creative, and zealous for the Lord. On top of it all, the financial remuneration is extremely oppressive for a young family.
I know I’m complaining! I also know I’m being realistic. I have a great deal of talent to give to God in my ministry, but I already want to bail out. I believe there are many like me, working toward the next calling while resenting the present one. This sense of failure, frustration, and lack of love-are they normal? Are they necessary? What are some non-simplistic suggestions for me to have an enjoyable as well as an effective ministry? Can/should ministry be enjoyable?
A
God calls every person to a place in life. Trying to fulfill the purpose for which God has put us here should be our only concern.
With that in mind, seriously ask yourself if you’re in the place God wants you to be. Although we can’t answer that question for you, we can suggest several things you might consider.
Frederic Buechner, in talking about a person’s calling, once said, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet ” If you really like writing commercials for diet drinks, one half of that equation has been met; but the world’s deep hunger probably doesn’t intersect with that. On the other hand, if you’re working in a leper colony but hate everv minute of it, you’ve still filled only half the equation.
Buechner’s analysis needs qualifying. “Your deep gladness” doesn’t necessarily mean your ministry should be invariably rewarding-a heart-stopping source of joy every step of the way. It might be quite the opposite. The bible is filled with examples of men who found themselves in unhappy ministerial situations; Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah, Jesus, and Paul all came to the point where they cried out to God, “I can’t take it any more.” But God didn’t tell them to bail out and be happy. His answer was, “Oh, yes, you can. I’ll help you. Hang in there.” Your deep gladness comes from knowing you’re doing a work God prepared for you.
Gary McAllister wrote in response to your letter and gave some thoughts about the various ways he deals with his frustration about success
“I’ve been a youth pastor for two and a half years. My church has grown very little. I’m not best friends with my kids, and I’m not constantly sought out for advice and counsel. My ministry is not a textbook example of success.
“On the other hand, I’ve made some progress in my ministry. I’ve had time to study. I’ve learned to get along with other Christians, control my temper, watch for problems I can solve, and be more patient with adults.
“Sometimes God calls a. man to a place of service tailored just for that man. It might not include new members, a big salary, or even happiness-but it may include time for study, prayer, and self-evaluation. Then, when someone does show growth, you’ll know this is a gift from God.”
Take another hard look at your ministry. Is it an impossible situation? Many talented men have labored long and joyfully in situations such as yours. On the other hand, maybe you don’t fit. Not only your happiness is at stake here; if you can’t love your people, then their needs aren’t being met either. Perhaps one of the other options you mentioned is more realistic for you. (Incidentally, you left out one viable option for a young pastor- starting a new church.)
There are several things you can do to help alleviate the stress you’re feeling. Franklyn Pyles, who is active in an inner-city ministry, suggests:
You don’t have to live in the neighborhood where the church is. If your family is in danger, move away and commute.
¥ If you don’t find enough kindred souls in your congregation to satisfy your social urgings, develop a network of friends outside the congregation. In an urban setting, there are numerous possibilities for contacts with cultural, athletic, and civic clubs.
¥ Vandalism means people are in need. Instead of seeing it as a threat, accept it as a fertile field for outreach. But do take steps to protect the church: wire mesh over windows, burgler alarms, and good locks. Also, hire kids from the neighborhood to help with building maintenance. Good neighborhood relations will cut down on vandalism.
¥ Work with your board to find ways of increasing your salary. Don’t suffer in silence.
¥ Pray for the Holy Spirit to give you love and joy.
The key, of course, is a willingness to follow where God leads. This may be to “failure.” A. W. Tozer summed it up when he said, “We cannot buy God’s favor with crowds or converts or new missionaries sent out or Bibles distributed. All these things can be accomplished without the help of the Holy Spirit. Our great honor lies in being just what Jesus was and is-to be accepted by those who accept him, rejected by all who reject him. What greater glory could come to any man?”
Copyright © 1981 by the author or Christianity Today/Leadership Journal. Click here for reprint information on Leadership Journal.
